Funniest From 6-08-2009
Funniest From 6-08-2009 (TIE!)
#1023
We were staying at the townhouse and had a meeting that evening with one of the world’s top art collectors. I decided to catch a nap so that I would be fresh that evening. I overslept and when my wife realized that I was still not dressed she told me to get dressed fast. As we were hurriedly driving to our big appointment, I kept complaining that my jeans were too tight.
My wife looked over and said that I must have put on her jeans. I said no and that my jeans must have shrunk in the dryer. She leaned over to my side of the car, unbuttoned my pants, and pulled down the zipper so that she could prove by the label that she was right.
All of a sudden we heard a crash next to us. When we looked, we saw a school bus full of kids looking our way. The bus had banged into the car in front of it. Apparently looking over and seeing a hot blond with her head in my lap was just too much of a distraction to the bus driver. I also imagine that a lot of parents had to give their kids the “talk” that night. We made it to our appointment on time. I never sat down.
#1025
E-mail that was accidentally sent to 220 people, instead of the 7 intended recipients: Hello everyone, as most of you know, Carolina and I are going to Vegas this weekend. It is always possible that we may not return. In the event of this, (think possible mobster kidnapping, or martini overdose, or both), we would like to spread our accounts to the whole department.
Some very special accounts include (*client*) or (*other client*). The lucky recipients of these accounts will be delighted for years to come. It is also possible we will get lucky on the slot machines, in which case we will also spread our wealth amongst the department. Ok, maybe not. (Settle down, Carolina!)
If anyone would like to go with me to Vegas, please submit your request to Heather Laughter. (Note: The boss always says to do this.) In the event that we do return, please keep all loud conversations to a minimum. We will surely be nursing headaches, and need to have a serene environment. For that reason, I am submitting another request to Turner, to deem Monday “Silence Day”. The phones will be rendered inoperable, and all communication will be done via post-it notes. Thank you for your support, and perhaps we will see you all soon, Jessica P.S. You know you all wish you were coming! YYEEE–hhaaaa!!!!!
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