Tub 3 of Laughs
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Here are some funny stories:
#1191
When we kids were a lot younger the 4 of us were directing my mom to drive around an empty corporate office parking lot at night while we were waiting for our dad to come pick us up in his car so my mom could go to the store alone.
We wandered the parking lot a good 10 -15 minutes weaving in and out of the medians before my dad came and transferred the kids to his car. Not minutes later my mom called to tell us she had gotten pulled over by an officer, apparently called about a loiter in the vacant lot.
Trying to explain to the officer her somewhat erratic driving my mom said, “Well, the kids were saying ‘turn right, turn left, go around the lines!’”
The officer was ready to haul her off to the loony bin, or give her a DWI test because he leans in the car window, looks around, looks back at my mom and says “Ma’am, there are no kids in the car.”
#1192
It was a Sunday morning, Father’s Day 1997, to be exact. We had a funeral to attend before going to my parent’s house for brunch. We were running late for brunch and I felt my right foot get heavier as I watched the speedometer inch towards the 80 M.P.H. mark.
The car that passed us going the other way was as plain as the road ahead of us.
As it got closer, I noticed the government license plates and side spotlight. The dark sedan turned around - flashing lights on and siren blaring.
I felt comfortable enough to ask the officer if he knew anything about Jewish guilt. I told the officer that the price of the speeding citation was nothing in comparison to my Jewish mother’s guilt I would forever feel for being late to order my omelet and hash browns and see the joy on dad’s face when he opened the envelope that contained our card.
The officer had a heart. He checked my driving record (it was sparkling clean) and gave me a verbal warning, asking me to be careful and have a nice day. Yes, Wisconsin s highway 23 will forever have a special place in my heart.
#1193
I was a publicist in LA (office on Sunset) and living in the ‘Valley’ (Sherman Oaks) so my daily commute was very predictable (long). Every morning I did a drive through at a fast food restaurant for a diet coke (raised in Texas.) Next was a right turn onto Van Nuys Blvd. Well, if the light at Sherman Way (to my left) had just turned GREEN I had a good 4 minute wait for the onslaught of cars to pass me.
So, one morning, while waiting I whipped out my nail polish bottle to repair just one little chip — hey! I had 4 minutes to do something that would take 45 seconds with extra time to blow the nail dry!
A policeman walked up to my window, tapped. I rolled down the window (endangering my just repaired nail) & he asked in slow disbelief, “What, in the world, are you doing?”
“Just one nail…” I smiled. (Showing him, of course) He shook his head & walked away. I’m thinking he had a wife with a great set of nails. My husband said thankfully it was my pointer (not middle) finger.
#1194
I have a great story to share about being pulled over. I’m an Executive Director with a company called Passion Parties (www.checkoutmytoys.com). I carry with me about $15,000 worth of products when I go to/from in-home parties for women.
I was pulled over one night and the police officer asked me where I was coming from? I said, “I do classy, in-home parties for women. I’m with a company called Passion Parties.” I then pointed to the back seat, where I had things just thrown in the back (romantic products).
He looked in the back, then smiled at me and said, “Have a nice night!” I think he was so embarrassed.
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