Tub 4 of Laughs
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Here are some funny stories:
#1195
Traveling home from errands with my then 18 month old son and mom, I was pulled over for a “California Stop.” Apparently, I rolled through the intersection instead of fully stopping. As I’m talking to the officer, my son starts to get really, really fussy. I’m looking over my shoulder telling him to calm down while my mom is sitting there in the passenger seat quietly.
The officer notices my fussy son, I apologize and tell him he’s way past his nap and we’re on our way home. By now, my son has had enough and starts wailing. It’s an angry wail, not an “I’m hurt” wail. I figure he’s just tired.
The officer seems to get edgy and says in a huff, “Fine. Get your son home, but next time, be sure you fully stop at all intersections.” I smile and carefully pull away from the curb noticing that my son has suddenly stopped wailing. Once out of sight, I say “Wow that was close. Nice job with the wailing Sy; perfect timing!”
I hear my mom snicker. I turn to her as she says, “I was pinching him on the back of the leg so he’d distract the officer.” While I have a look of surprise on my face, my son is laughing hysterically in the back seat. Little stinkers.
#1196
I had a glass of wine with dinner and was driving my mom’s car back to her place. The drive is about 45 minutes and my mom is riding me the whole time about how I am driving, slow down, do this and that. I blew through a stop sign. Next thing I know I am getting pulled over. My mom is now freaking out, saying that I am going to get a DUI since I had a glass of wine, this is going to be the end, and how will she get home. You get the picture.
The cop comes up to the car and I give him my license and am trying to get the registration out of the glove box, but my mom is sitting there talking a mile a minute and won’t move her legs so I can’t get the registration. I finally get it out. He goes back to his car and from my vantage point in the rear view; I see he doesn’t even get in his car. He just looks at my license and the registration, looks back at the car and starts walking back to us.
He looks at my mom, then at me, hands me the license and registration and says, “I can see how you would have missed that stop sign with the major distraction you have in the car. I am going to let you off with a warning.” He then looks at my mom and tells her she needs to let me focus on driving and keep the distractions to a minimum. The look on her face was priceless. The cop winked at me and then we all went on our merry way.
#1197
My favorite story was when I was 18 years old (20 years ago). Five friends and I were headed to the Jersey Shore when we decided to see how fast my parents 1970ish Chevrolet Impala would go. In the process of trying to take her to top speed (which was probably about 70mph) I managed to drive somewhat erratically ending up swerving in and out of the shoulder. No other cars were around.
Low and behold there was Copper John. Needless to say he pulled me over and the first thing he said was, “You are a mad woman! That was the worst display of driving I have ever seen in my life.”
To which I replied quite innocently, “Sorry, I have bad space perception.” Not too many more words were exchanged after that except for “where are you going?” etc and in the end believe it or not, he only gave me a fix it ticket for my taillight being out. Those were the days.
#1198
Next to the Police Station at 7:20 am the day after Thanksgiving and then I heard the siren. I pulled over right next to the police station. A woman cop came over and asked those words, “Did you know you went through a stop sign? License and registration please.” I told her I was going to be on TV and had to get to the station before 8am.
She asked why so I pulled up my top revealing my stomach. “I’m on a diet for the next 8 weeks and I’ve already lost 10 pounds.” Maybe it was because I was so honest, maybe because she admired my ability to get up in the early morning, maybe she just didn’t want to do the paperwork, but I didn’t get the ticket; only a warning.
And now I never go through the stop sign! Although I would like to lose more weight, when the TV show ended so did my weight loss!
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