Launch Update - The book has lift-off

 

Phil Woods and Steve Smith are two comedians that provide weekly content to Laughtub. They look at the funny side of language and why people say the things they do. To get free laughter like this, click here.

 

 

Well well well, we come toward you, our humble laughtubians today with many types of glee and merriment following a successful book launch for ‘Beat About the Bush’.

 

It took place at a large Borders store on Saturday 10th October, 2009 and followed a day of signing. We finished the day as the best selling book and the manager has asked us back to do more signings. (The launch night was filmed and can be viewed on our ever-growing YouTube channel, available via the web link right here.)

 

At the launch in the evening we did a short stand up comedy routine in which we talked mainly about some of the funny things people say. Some of these we have already mentioned on Laughtub but today we thought we would share the rest of them with you.

 

Before we go on, may we ask you all to do us a favour? May we? May we? Ok, we don’t really know the US of A that well, but we would like to get to know you better, therefore we’d like you to email us with American sayings that seem funny to you.

 

Tell us why you think they are funny and in what situations you have heard them said. We will then begin to analyse them in our own unique manner and give you the results in a couple of weeks on Laughtub.

 

Hopefully this will give us all a laugh and may even make it into our next book with you guys credited with the collaboration. You can email us via our website which is www.beat-about-the-bush.co.uk

 

Now for the laughing to begin:

Oooo, anywhere nice? This is something often said when someone tells you that they’ve just been on vacation. How crazy is that statement? Let us look at a situation in which this might occur and then give an answer to it: “I haven’t seen you for a while, where have you been?”

 

“I’ve just got back from my vacation.”

 

“Oooo anywhere nice?” then the answer you don’t expect “No, we got the ‘Nightmare Vacations in War Zones’ brochure and booked two weeks in Beirut on a building site overlooking the mortuary. It was terrible and we’ve already booked again for next year.”

 

We all know that the answer to this question is going to be ‘yes’; we don’t work all year and then book our two weeks off in a hell hole. So why ask?

 

 

Tuna Fish. Don’t pretend you don’t say that in the USA just like people in the UK do, because I know you’re telling lies. I’ve heard you say it, I heard it being said on The Maury Povich show yesterday. Why do we choose to add ‘fish’ after the word ‘tuna’? We all know that tuna is a fish, we don’t go to the supermarket and say “Have you got any cod fish or haddock fish?”

 

We don’t do it with other foods either. Imagine this for a shopping list - “May I have some salmon fish, some carrot vegetable, some chicken meat, some apple fruit and some butter fat.” We all know that tuna is a fish, so you don’t have to remind us every time.

 

Your fun with language task for this week

 

In the final chapter of our book we encourage readers to have fun with language. We want you to enjoy language as much as we do, so we challenge you to a small task this week, and please let us know what the outcome is.

 

We want you to go into a gas station and after putting gasoline in your car go to the counter and say the following instead of simply “Pump 5 please” (or similar):

 

“I have partaken in the extraction of thousands of millilitres of your encased car-manoeuvring spirits. I would now like to embellish your hands with the required remuneration for the aforementioned product which I have pre-empted your permission to obtain”.

 

If you do not have a car, use this one for your local grocery store:

 

“Hello. I’d like to go about the business of entering into the legally binding contract of undergoing enpurchasement of this fine item. Please accept this reimbursement for any trouble caused.”

 

A word of warning though: make sure that you are confident that the person you say this to looks like they can take a joke. I don’t want any of our new friends to get into trouble!

 

And finally

 

I grow some fruit and vegetables in my garden here in the UK (I know, very stereotypical). Yesterday an old man was giving me some advice on how to get the best out of my fruit. He said that you should grow tomatoes in a greenhouse, and apples should be taken off the tree just before they are ripe.

 

Then he asked “Do you put manure on your rhubarb?” I replied “No, I put ice cream on mine.”

 

It’s goodbye from us both for this week, we will see you again next week.

 

Phil & Steve
Friday, October 20, 2009

 

Can you read?
‘Beat About The Bush: The Funny Side of Language’ by Phil Woods and Steve Smith is available now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other good bookshops.

Read Phil and Steve’s Blog here.